A long time ago I stopped writing. I don't even remember why. I just ditched skyrock without saying anything and never came back. I don't really care and I guess no one does. 'Cause skyrock's bullshit. Life's out there man, stop writing down in this little box what you feel or whatever 'cause anyway it doesnt mean anything. I got tired of this (After only 30 articles, I guess I fail a bit lol). So I just wanted to write one last article to end it. So this is me saying goodbye, standing up and getting a life.
Once upon a time, a dinosaur ate a farmer's chicken. The farmer got really pissed and took one of the dinosaur's eggs. At this moment, a pink sheep jumped over a fence to rescue the egg. The farmer bit the sheep in the butt, but what he didn't know was that the sheeps ass was poisonous. He screamed at the sheep and kept running away with the egg, until a chair fell from the sky and hit his face. It was a very nice chair, made of polished plywood and oak. Our lucky farmer was allergic to polished plywood and oak, so he threw up all over the egg and fainted. What our dear readers don't know is that the only thing that would make the egg crack was the barf of someone who was allergic to polished plywood and oak, well, not necessarily oak, but it was a plus. So, a whale's head came out of the egg and stared at the chair, thinking it was it's mother. The chair stared in awe at its new baby and said 'I name you BARF'.
The farmer woke up and started running around them with a crazy look on his face, he had lost his mind because of the beauty of the chair. The whale hopped out of the egg and unzipped its skin, under, there was.....THE FARMERS CHICKEN. The chair ran away, because it was afraid of chickens. The farmer, still completely insane, wandered off into the bushes, singing 'We Wish you a Merry Christmas'. The chicken looked at him with a sad look and cried, it was in love with the farmer, but knew he thought the chair was prettier. The chicken said, "POK PO-COCK PO PO PO-COCK CO-COCK". After this very poetic sentence, a patato came out of hell's doors and started smoking a carrot. When the carrot saw the chicken, it said, "We were looking for someone who would buy a fridge. Satan just bought a new one.". The patato's eyes brightned as he looked at the beautiful chicken, he said, ''Will you marry me?''. To the two questions at once, the chicken answered, "COOOOOOCK". All of a sudden, a fireman kicked the chicken in the nuts and ran away screaming he was the messenger of the lord. The patato, recognizing the fireman as his master's worst ennemy, ran after him with the carrot on his back screaming "SKIIIITTTTLLEEEEESSSS".
Finding himself alone, the chicken took out his cellphone and called at St-Hubert to get some food. The chicken said, "COCK PO-COCK PO PO COCK COCK", to wich the employee answered, "Are you sure thats what she said?". The chicken nodded, to the employee's surprise (He could see it through his binoculars), and then, he said, ''Alrighty then, it's gonna be 18.99 dollars.''
All this time, the farmer, who was still in the bushes, had went silent, but suddenly, as the chicken hung up, the farmer's voice came through the leaves, singing 'O Canada.' Then Stephen Harper came out of a box, smiling like a pedophile, ''Did someone say Canada? I'm the Prime Minister of Canada and I am very cool. Don't you dare look at me with that tone of voice! SHUT UP.' To what the farmer answered, "Do not even dare underestimate the power of Colgate Plus. It whitens your teeth AND fights gingivitus." Our good friend Stephen looked amazed by the knowledge of this man and answered, ''And all this time I thought Chrest was better! Dammit, I've been fooled by that pretty girl's white teeth. Will you ever forgive me? My favourite colour is grey, because it's my hair's colour and I LOVE my hair.'' "HAAAIIIIR" added all the surrounding trees and bushes in a sing-song voice. Because of this intense moment of happiness, the chicken finally understood that there was nothing in this world that could taste better than sugar pie. Harper, who was like Edward Cullen who could read minds, raised one of his large, gray hairy eyebrows at the chickens thought "MMM-HHM GOOD". The chicken, thinking Harper wanted to have sex with it, jumped on him and kissed his beautiful knees. "OH NO, NOT THE KNEES" screamed a small voice from inside Harpers pants. The chicken looked down on Harper's pants and smiled, ''Do you wanna see the inside of my mouth?''. The farmer finally came out of the bushes, "I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE STEPHEN". Stephen turned to face him, in shock, and he said, ''Say it. Say it out loud. And I am not a mermaid, everyone already did it to me.'' The farmer answered, "YOU ARE A POLITICIAN. BOO YA. NO ONE COULD'VE GUESSED. I AM SUPERIOR. I. AM. A. FARMEEEEEER.".
Stephen took a step back, '' NO WAY! LIES. LIES LIES. ALL LIES. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, THERE IS NO WAY YOU'RE A FARMER.'' and then, he screamed with a little girl's voice. "YOYOYO HOMIE GEE NIGGA YO FO SHIZZLE IN DA HOOD" "AY CARAMBA" "YO NIGGA, GET OUTTA MAH CRIB, YO"
Somehow, I ended up on skyrock. Maybe I got bored. Well, we all get bored someday. If you never got bored, then you're a motherfucker bad ass hamster. Point. So you get over the bridge, turn to your right and the only thing you can see is a fucking dinosaur eating your golden chicken. So how is that boring ? So the white rabbit was late and that's how you ended up reading.. This. Thing. Whatever. 'Cause you don't have a life and you read what I write. Or try to write. It's like hearing something from the past. Reading. So you don't even need a time machine to go in the past. So just take the fucking train, take it down and come back. We're awesome. * High five * Can I be your favourite colour ?
You know what. I like you. You're awesome. We're all part of a rainbow you know. We're all a colour. And we're so many we make it beautiful. You say goodbye and I say hello. Hello hello. I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello. I don't know what's going on.
Life is a game, enjoy it until you're game over. Live everyday like there's no tomorrow and forget your worries. You gotta laugh when you're the joke. And if you fall your friends will be right beside you.